Rampage Jackson & Heather Nichols, WOW!

So hottie reporter Heather Nichols was interviewing UFC big dude, Rampage Jackson. She asked all those usual hard-hitting questions including asking him about his acting career. She then suggested a romantic movie starring herself and Jackson. Apparently, Jackson thought that meant a dry hump porn role, and began to demonstrated his uh, acting, talents on the gorgeous Nichols.

Folks, I'm a crazy monkey, but this kinda stuff crosses a line for us animals. As a blow up doll, I would never do this to a female interviewing me, since I might become overinflated or even worse, deflated! People out there will argue that Heather wasn't really telling Rampage to stop doing it, some even argue she was "asking for it" and others are arguing that this guy's an animal. You make the call below...

The 2009 Garden & Squirrel Solution

As you may or may not know, this crazy inflated Monkey enjoys partying, girls, bananas, girls, watching MTV reality shows, girls, and yes, gardening. In the midst of all the other exciting stuff going on, I forgot to mention that I have a bunch of veggies growing once again for the 2009 summer season. Last year saw several of the leafy green vegetable plants such as broccoli and spinach get eaten by rodents or probably deer. This time around I set up a special area up on a hill with a protective fence around it. We bought fence and a bunch of the other necessary gardening stuff at the local Lowes store, and now it actually seems to be a real garden since nothing's able to eat away at the plants. Anyways, this year's crops include: cucumber, squash, green pepper, broccoli, tomato, zucchini, and due to a mixup at the Lowes, Okra. Okra's apparently like grits which are a treat in the south. The Okra (rhymes with Oprah) got planted up on a hill in the hopes the deer would eat that one, because everyone tells me Okra is yucky, although one of the relatives says it tastes great fried (what doesn't?) I'll keep you all updated on how the veggie situation goes, but as of right now the cucumber/squash seem to have flowers, there's two small tomatoes budding and then a green pepper growing nicely by itself.

That brings me to another interesting nature situation, since I mentioned preventing critters from getting into my garden. We've got a bird feeder set up right outside our front kitchen window to provide entertainment and bird-viewing. The birds seem to love it there as we see everything from cardinals to bluebirds and woodpeckers stopping by for food. At times they even like to let us know when the container needs to be refilled. Unfortunately, it's not just the birds who seem to be munching away on the birdseed. It's those rodents with the big bushy tails filling their fat bellies up, and constantly driving the family dog bonkers. That at times can be entertaining, as just the other day I saw 3 squirrels all together going after the bird food in the feeder and down below. So needless to say we are looking to prevent squirrels from invading the feeder. I started reading up on solutions and learned about these devices called squirrel baffles. They're dome shaped-thingies that you attach to the feeder that prevent squirrels from climbing the pole or going onto the feeder. Pretty nifty and less mean of an apprach, because the next solutions are putting hot cayenne pepper into the birdseed or the alpha male says he's going to shoot the squirrels with a BB Gun...Just giving you squirrels fair warning!

Obama's White House Dog is Portuguese!

It's a boy! - Dog that is....President Barack Obama and family have made it official that their pet dog will be named Bo, a Portuguese Water Dog. The dog was a special gift bestowed on them by good friend, Senator Ted Kennedy. It's named Bo after some cat the Obama daughter's cousins have and after Michelle Obama's late father who was nicknamed "Diddley". It's a weird sounding dog breed, but it is becoming quite popular amongst households, even more so now that it's part of the Obama family!

The Portuguese Water Dog seems like it'll be a really good pet dog to have romping around the Oval Office. These dogs are considered sorta hypoallergenic, meaning they won't cause guests with dog allergies to sneeze, cough and cry while they're in the presence of the Prez. Of course inflated monkeys are completely hypoallergenic, and I wouldn't have minded partying it up at the White House, bowling with Barack, doing arm workouts with Michelle, and going to Hannah Montana concerts with the girls.

Just so you know, the Obamas had originally planned to adopt a dog from a shelter, but instead got one free. So to make up for it, they're giving the Humane Society a nice little donation...I was going to ask Obama to donate to my inflated monkey party fund but I'll wait until all the fanfare over the new puppy has died down.

Bo, the Portuguese Water Dog, official moves into the White House on Tuesday according to various reports. You can be sure TMZ, CNN, Yahoo and every other media outlet will be tracking its every move. Sorry Bo, but it comes with the territory!

White House dog: It's Bo - Chicago Sun Times blog

PETA Vegetarians Gone Wild!

Hello fellow party animals, this Sunday marks one of the biggest holidays in all of the United States...as well as the day in which the national water level goes down the most during one period of time....That's right, it's the SuperBowl! Time for football, cheerleaders, parties, fun, food, snacks and of course those beloved Superbowl commercials which many of us are more interested in than the game itself!

One commercial which is getting a lot of attention is the PETA advertisment. It's been banned from airing due to it's "steamy nature"...The ad takes a look at vegetarians in a whole new sexy way!

WARNING: THIS VIDEO IS HOT IN NATURE! My girl Christi Paul of CNN HLN (Headline News or Hot Lesbian News) breaks it all down...



Watch the unedited PETA Veggie Love ad in its entirety!

PETA argues that other ads for burgers or chicken, etc make people fat, boring and bad in bed...Right on PETA! There's nothing wrong with showin a little "veggie love"... PETA also want to make Michael Vick undergo psychiatric counseling due to what he did with dogs...The group is definitely making moves, and any group that defends my rights as a modern day party animal deserves my backing...

You can get special 3-D glasses for Sunday's game, which you can pick up at various locations/stores including Dollar General. These special glasses will let you see ads in 3-D during this Sunday's Superbowl....That PETA ad woulda been something to see huh? Broccoli, Squash and Eggplant just bursting out the screen! Enjoy the big game, I'm predicting a Steelers victory, but it's always great to see the underdogs win!

Shrimp on a Treadmill

Yes my friends, even crustaceans need their excercise! The above YouTube video is of Sammy the Shrimp (named him myself), running on an underwater treadmill. As you can see he's definitely getting quite a workout on all his legs. According to an MSNBC.com article, the sea creature is being studied. The study is to determine the health of the shrimp, to see how diseases impact their performance. Basically

Shrimp dealing with an infection would be less active and might be limited in their ability to migrate, find food, and avoid being eaten, Scholnick said. "These studies will give us a better idea of how marine animals can perform in their native habitat when faced with increasing pathogens and immunological challenges."

Source: MSNBC.com

It's great to see scientists taking such an active interest in the health of our seafood, because I want them to make sure it's in tip-top shape for my Scampi dinner!

Vote for the next Mayor of Rabbit Hash, KY!

Folks you may have thought that the whole McCain vs. Obama 2008 presidential election was the biggest vote in the country coming up, but it's not. You see the quaint town of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky has a very important vote coming up to determine its new mayor in 2008, with voting ending 6PM on Tuesday.

What makes the Rabbit Hash election extra-special is that it has barely any humans in the running, along with about 14 animal candidates. Yes you read it right, running for Mayor of Rabbit Hash are: a Bull Mastiff dog, a Miniature Donkey, a Boxer/Laborador mix, a Border Collie (Myspace), an Ibizan Hound, a Border Collie Mix, a Boxer, a Poodle, a Clumber Spaniela Chihuahua Mix, St Bernard Mix (Myspace page), a Springer Spaniel and a cat. I am not too sure what animals Paulette and Ruby are, perhaps they are humans too! With all that said, it's going to be an interesting race. Surprisingly, none of the humans are even close to winning this thing. Let's hear it for political-minded animals!

The reason for the election is the last mayor, Junior, a black lab elected in 2004, sadly passed away last Spring, so the historic burg of Rabbit Hash, KY is now leaderless...Currently, it's Toby the Springer Spaniel leading the way, owned by Chris Lustenberg. Toby's got 1,773 votes and his campaign slogan states: "Toby won't pussyfoot around. He's got a leg up on the competition." I wonder if they mean that literally! I personally think Higgins the Miniature Donkey has a solid chance to catch up! He's in 3rd with 1,298 votes and seems to know what he's doing...Plus the donkey has always been associated with politics! Also don't count out Lucy Lou who's in 2nd, as her slogan is "The Bitch You Can Count On". I think she will receive a lot of votes from the female canine population in Rabbit Hash.

Now to vote in this election you must donate some moolah. $1 gets you 1 vote, so the more you donate, the more votes you'll get! Come on folks campaigning isn't cheap by any stretch of the imagination! If I were running I know the cost of my daily bananas alone would be quite pricey these days! The proceeds also benefit The Rabbit Hash Historical Society, which is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization, so that means your paid for "vote" is tax deductible! (Please note: this crazy monkey is not affiliated with the Rabbit Hash Historical Society or this campaign, just a concerned US citizen!)

Their election will be held at the Central Barn on November 4th from 6AM to 6PM. Online voting is possible for all citizens, and can be done until 6PM on November 3rd. See link down below.

This election is a thing of great political beauty, as finally animals everywhere will be heard...And you never know, maybe this crazy monkey will go into politics one day too!

You can see all of the candidates, what they stand for, the votes so far and cast your own vote at the Official Voting page. See voting page with full list of candidates here!