iMonkey likes iJustine :)

(Hey monkey I've been thinkin bout ya!)

Hey pals..have you heard of iJustine yet? She's a super hot internet celebrity who loves tech, and this crazy monkey's latest crush (don't tell Victoria - she finally added me on Facebook)! iJustine is a tech geek chic who video blogs about everything from the iPhone to Twitter to Steve Jobs. She shoots her videos in her kitchen, supports charitable causes such as this one, and was sweet enough to bring cupcakes to Twitter!

So back to me and my future wife, we both like technology, we both like to party, we both like bikinis (well not wearing them for me!) We're both bigtime celebrities here on the internet, and it's cool that we both start our name with "i" too. i think iMonkey and iJustine have a lot in common! We could name our first born, iJunky :)

Friends don't tell iJustine that iLike her yet! But you can follow her on Twitter and see her blog "TastyBlogSnack" here!

The Day the Earth Stood Still on Facebook

So I was minding my own monkey bizness just a day after Valentine's day and all of a sudden a mysterious email announcement popped up. It was my main squeeze (or so I thought), Miss Victoria Del Rosal. You know the girl who came in at #1 on Monkey's Top 10 Muy Caliente Latina Babes list? Check it out...


(The message from Miss Del Rosal, sent February 15, 2009)

You can imagine my disappointment, shock and utter confusion here folks...Either Victoria has suffered amnesia, or she has truly forgotten my sexy inflated self! She still has yet to add me to her Facebook friends, possibly to keep our relationship secret from prying media hounds... Nonetheless, this monkey will continue to support the sexy Victoria Del Rosal and anything she may be selling on the SLTV channel, but no I will not wear the shape changer bra!

How to Fish for Dates Online...

(My official Plenty o' fish dating profile!)

The other day I took the plunge and joined this free dating site called Plenty of Fish aka plentyoffish.com! It's cool because it's free, you can take a little personality quiz to determine your psychotic tendencies and then they match you up with hot women who are looking for dates! It's amazing how many wild blonde and brunette chiquitas they have matched me with just on Day 1 because of my party animal nature! Once they go inflated monkey they never go back!

Once you sign up you can upload a picture of choice (notice I chose my sexiest one). Then they require you to fill out a profile of your interests and hobbies plus what your ideal first date is...I tried to make mine interesting without lying too much...I embellished on my salary a bit, but Hollywood women tend to like guys with $$$!

If you're feeling crazy like me and are single or a swinger, head over to Plentyoffish.com and sign yourself up. Beware of stalkers, psychos and crazies..but you just may find a diamond in the ruff!

(PS it only makes me slightly nervous that there is a guy with a loaded rifle hunting ducks staked out next to my picture on a dating site!)

My Computer Speaks Monkey!

Blah blah blouey! What sup folks this entire Block Post is being written by my voice! As you can see it's not completely accurate yet because I still have to train this thing to understand somewhat words. Any ways is still fun to seeifit picks up swear words like Faulk should ditch. Wonder how I'm doing all this? It's a technology built into Windows Vista called speech recognition. All you need to do is buy a microphone or one of those fancy headsets with a microphone like you see me wearing in the pictures. Then you're good to go and you can begin training the computer to understand you. You can then use your voice to control the computer or write things like emails. During one of my training sessions they told me that their plan is for computers to be able to talk to humans. Kinda scary technology huh? Any ways you can pick up one of these headset thingamajigs at places like Wal-Mart or Amazon dot com. Well how about that it understood the word thingamajigs! Have a good day Im going back to train this silly little thing so it will understand swears and monkey sounds and stuff!





Monkey is modeling: Cyber Acoustics AC-850 Silver USB Stereo Headset/Microphone with In-line Volume Control

The Mask of Monkey

Friends it's been a while! All I can say is this crazy monkey's been busy from the holidays right up til' now.... Between all the personal appearances and the everyday hustle and bustle of life I'm lucky not to be deflated!

As you all know we are well into 2009...With a new year I decided to go for a new look, as you can see in the pic above...That mask was actually brought back to me from China as my owner's brother and his wife recently ventured over there...Among the other cool gifts I got were a winter hat from the Great Wall of China, a small Wish Keeper Box and a new 4 GB Jump Drive
...Monkeys love to jump! PSA - you should never try jumping while driving...

As for my new mask I love it in a creepy sort of way...Maybe now I can wear the mask for a new Hollywood horror movie or at least scare the family dog around the house!

Hope everyone's 2009 is off to a great start!

PS> I'll probably go back and fill in all the missing entries between now and the last time you heard from me at some point! :)

Feelin' the Blogging Blues...

It's been rough going lately here at my Adventures of a Crazy Inflated Monkey Blog. Although I was accepted by the nice people of Blogsvertise, they haven't sent me any assignments yet :( I'm not sure whether it's due to rising gas prices, or they think I can't handle what they have, or if they think I'm just too crazy :) Really, I can talk and blog about anything they throw at me!

It's sad to report, this monkey was also turned down by Reviewme.com, another place that will pay people to write stuff about sites. They said I don't fit in with their criteria, so that will be something I need to work to achieve....Must become cooler and crazier...

In the meantime, as you can see above I love to blog, and love bananas, so hook me up!

Also, if you stop by here and want to do a Link trade thing lemme know, I'll be happy to accommodate other monkey bloggers who fit in with humor, entertainment, mixed bag and all other genres of blogs!

A Garden Update: Critter Protection 101

It's a beautiful sunny day over here, so here's a garden update for all you crazy monkey fans. Today I added some blue powder to water which makes a magical formula called "Miracle Grow". I'm expecting some 50 feet tall Broccoli, Squash and Tomato Plants now. I accidentally spilled a bit on one of my feet so I'm hoping it doesn't become a lot bigger.

I'm also researching how to keep those pesky deer, rabbits and other critters away. I have nothing against the other wildlife round here, but I do want my crops to grow rather than being their food. The owners of the property won't let me borrow their trusty family dog to keep outside 24/7, so I looked at Lowes' website on "Deer & Your Landscape".



It lists the following odd things you can use near your garden to scare off deer or others:

This list reads like Halloween night prank gone bad, but various applications of the following have been tried with mixed success. Unpleasant odors or odors associated with danger can keep pests away. As with many of the mechanical deterrents, a persistent deer is likely to become accustomed to these and resume feeding.

* Feces or urine from predators (such as lion or coyote)
* Hot pepper
* Garlic
* Rotten eggs
* Human hair

So it looks like I have to start eating more eggs, clipping hair off family members while they're sleeping, or go on a crazy adventure to catch a lion or coyote and make it urinate in a bucket.... Yeah that'll keep the deer and everyone else away!...Rabbit fencing it is!



Time to get to work and mow the lawn here...Gotta earn my keep before the weekend! Have fun folks...

Monkey See, Monkey Do!

Hey friends....Yesterday I decided to venture out into what they call the "Blogosphere", which is basically a vast jungle full of blogs covering all sorts of crazy topics! I wanted to see just what all the other crazy bloggers are doing out on this world wide web thing...During my surfing trip, I discovered this curious 125x125 box was appearing on many other blogs. It had cool pictures on it and read "Drop Yours"...when you clicked on the picture, it instantly transported you to other people's blog sites...Very fun and very addictive! (INote: 'm still not sure what exactly they wanted me to drop!)

So naturally I had to get in on all this crazy action! I wanted my own cool little graphic to put on some other blogs so people could know all about my adventures..The box device is called "Entrecard" and it is completely free! See my cool 125x125 image below? It's got me hanging out with a crazy hot guitar heroine! True inflated party animal style....



Above: My Monkey Entrecard box thing

Many bloggers talk about this flashy little square box so it must be something quite special! I've also seen some bloggers who dislike talking or hearing about it. But I'm all for fun and this 125 box is tons of fun so far! There's even other monkey blogs on there...

If you are part of the Entrecard guild online with your blog, use this link to get to my page so you can put your 125x125 box up for display:

Click for Crazy Monkey's Entrecard page

Feel free to test my Entrecard box out on the top left side and see what sort of fun journey it takes you on! Each day it changes, opening up a whole new www location and adventure for you!

The Day This Crazy Monkey Arrived!

Picture of packaging

In my crazy inflated monkey origin story, I told you of how I was rescued from a shelf in the Dollar General Store of Wickliffe, Ohio. Until this date in time, I was flat and squished into a small plastic sleeve. I was hung out on a shelf, staring out at customers from amongst the other inflatable party animals. One day my life was changed when I was purchased and rescued!


Picture of envelope

I was sent to my current owner/handler's discreet location via United States Postal Service in a nice, compact manila envelope. Luckily I was not abducted even though the sender included a personal note on the outside of the envelope. See below.


Picture of my handling instructions

I'm happy to have arrived here so I can break out of my packaging and enjoy my new party life, fresh off the shelves of the Dollar General Store! Look out crazy world!!


Picture of monkey emerging out of package

Stay tuned for more info on my story, including how I finally was inflated and more!

Crazy Inflated monkey...